Pursuit of Peace

This summer has been a highlight of my childhood. I say childhood because these are the last moments as I transition into adulthood. However, I believe that nothing fully transforms into something new within humans. It is solely a development of a previous form. So, my childhood is not lost or forgotten. My childhood is closing an important chapter leaving me to write a new narrative.

This narrative begins at one of my lowest points. I am no stranger to lows, but this was an unfamiliar experience. A new strain on my mental, physical, and emotional health that nearly destroyed me. It disturbed my peace. It almost eliminated my will to be a positive light, to be a role model, to be an example for others, and to be a better Amir. I was lost in my feelings, unsure of what was right or wrong. The only slightly normal feeling I had was that things were different. In the literal sense, nothing felt right. Figuratively, the ever-changing state of my physical, mental, and emotional well-being did become normal, though.

I was on a search for peace. Any peace that could reconcile every broken part of me. In my pursuit, I found a temporary remedy. One that I would abuse for months on end. Unknowingly, the narrative took a sharp turn from June to July 2018. Emerging out of the smoke and flames was a new version of Amir. An archetype that was no longer on a path of self-destruction. Though the older Amir was still blind at this time, the new Amir was preparing for his reign. This reign would change my life as I know it. 

My pursuit of peace was a tireless battle with myself and all of my demons. I battled with anxiety, insecurity, depression, addiction, and love. What did all of these factors mean for my well-being? It meant that my peace was in my control. My peace of mind, soul, and spirit. I felt plagued with a dark cloud that casts shadows of negative energy. Slowly as I transitioned from my older self to my new self, I became enlightened.